her last night in her crib

We are moving Watts to a big girl bed. After today, she will no longer sleep in her little crib.

And just a small part of my big momma heart is breaking to pieces.

My Watts isn't a baby anymore. She isn't little. She can pick out her own food and tell me how she feels and get up and down off of the couch by herself.

She can sing and dance and skip around. She can pick flowers and remember lines from "Frozen" and make up games to play with her toys.

She knows her name and her brother's name. She loves to ask me how I feel and when daddy is coming home from work.

She's just not a baby anymore.

And I am thankful for that. She's growing and becoming more independent and more mature. She is learning new things and learning how to be her. She is strong-willed and confident. She is beautiful and so sweet.

She's my Wattsie. She is my baby Wattsie.

But, the Lord wills her to grow up and thrive. He commands her little body to grow taller and become more agile and strong. He allows her brain to grow and become more sharp and quick.

And all of that is a really, really beautiful thing.

But, like I said, deep down, my heart is grieving just a bit.

Mat and I brought her home from the hospital a little more than 29 months ago. We put her in another crib (that Ford now sleeps in), and she's been sleeping (through the night) in that crib since she was 2-and-a-half months old.

A crib is where she belongs, right? Safe and secure and confined until her mommy and daddy can rescue her.

She sleeps in her crib so we know exactly where she is and what she's doing. She sleeps in her crib because she's safe there and she cannot escape without our help.

She belongs in a crib right? Because she's safe there.

No. For a little while, she belonged in a crib. But, she is growing up. She no longer belongs in a crib.

And soon, she will no longer belong in our home. She will belong in her college dorm, then in her own apartment, and then, someday, Lord willing, in her own home with her husband and her children...who will belong in their cribs for just a brief moment in time. And then they will grow up...and the cycle continues.

But, alas, she grows up. She doesn't stay little and everyday, she needs me less and less. And this is what pleases the Lord. There is pain in it, but there is also great joy and great gladness. She leaves my lap and then my arms and finally, one day my home, but the Lord has promised good for her life, and so I rest in that promise.

I don't have to worry about her. I don't have to worry that she is growing up. For it is what the Lord wills.

And the Lord's will is GOOD.

I am so thankful for our first born...for our little girl. She's taught me so much about what it means to be a mom. I so thankful the Lord saw fit that we take guard over her for these few short years. And we strive every single day to be the kind of parents who bring the Lord glory with the task at hand.

We pray and toil and sweat and strain and strive. We encourage and discipline and love and correct and guide.

I pour out my life as an offering to the Lord, and part of that offering is the care I give my children.

And even though that part of the offering is sometimes so very hard, it is also so very rewarding.

What a blessing it is to be "Mommy."

She slept in her crib for the last time today. And I cannot believe it. I cannot believe she's old enough for a big bed. Where has the time gone?

Wattsie, you are such a big girl. You are growing up, and you are growing up beautifully. I am so very proud of you. You bring me untold joy and happiness every single day. It is an absolute privilege to be your mommy. I love watching you grow up. What grace from the Lord you are.

What great grace.

I love you, sweet girl. I really, really hope you love your big girl bed.

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